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"star trek" (Cont'd)
May. 15th, 2009 07:13 amI've been asked to elaborate a bit beyond yesterday's rather terse criticism, so here goes.
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
Basically, I like the actors who play Kirk, Spock and McCoy, quite a bit in fact. Unfortunately, the story was rather deficient. Then again, who needs a solid plot these days when you can use CGI to throw a lot of stuff at the audience?
So, what are my problems? Among them is not their depiction of Vulcans. Yes, it is inconsistent with what was originally established, but that got messed up by TV series Enterprise, which is best described as having boldly gone where everyone had gone before.
Among the problems is the handling of female characters. Yes, there are the skirts. But I also wonder what the heck that bra is that they gave Winona Rider (as Spock's mother) because it sure made her bustline look 'funny'. Beyond the choice of female attire, the few women who actually said anything were there as objects for male lust. OK, there was a woman on the ship's bridge, but she was older and studly Kirk, while he may show interest in robots as long as they look like women, doesn't go for more mature ladies.
There were also plenty of plot holes, so many of them that they led to my rather crude comment yesterday. I'll only mention the most glaring ones.
Big bad Romulan Nero wants to destroy the Federation because, when a supernova went kablooee in the future, Romulus got fried and the Federation didn't step in to help. Mind you, that supernova was not near Romulus, but we're told that it unexpectedly did destroy it. How such a thing can happen unexpectedly, we are not told. When I was going to college, I used to carpool with a buddy whose car, if I remember correctly, was a Nova. Maybe that's what happened here. Maybe Trelayne was driving the Supernova. You know how crazy today's kids are and you get off my lawn right this minute, young man!
So Nero and his Nosferatu-lookalike buddies get hurled(1) back in time along with their mining ship. The latter must have mined in tough neighborhoods because it was equipped to beat the crap out of a Starfleet ship.
Anyway. Nero is not happy so he brings his mining ship in orbit above Vulcan, drops down a kilometers-long plasma-torch-drillbit thingie and starts boring(2) into the planet, with the intention of dropping a black hole to its core. Except that the black hole is red, and, no matter what its color, he didn't need to dig a hole. All he had to do was to drop the darn thing and it'd have plowed its way to the core on its own, but did management ask my opinion? Nooooooo. While all this is going, the Vulcans do nothing to stop this ruination of their neighborhood and they apparently have no planetary defenses of any kind because they send a distress call to Iowa - I mean, Earth. So off to Vulcan go each and every Starfleet ship. Five minutes later, after the Enterprise gets there, it finds that Nero Biggusdickus has wrecked all of Starfleet. Quite unfortunate. The Enterprise races back to Earth in a trip that, for some reason, takes longer than the original ride to Vulcan. Young captain Spock, annoyed with young Kirk, dumps him unarmed on an ice planet where, what a coincidence, Nero had dropped the older Spock of the future to see Vulcan get crushed(3). Oh, and what a coincidence, but so is young Montgomery Scott, who is stuck in a Federation outpost on that very same world. Coincidences abound and we know that they are not the sign of poor storytelling even when they're piled on thicker than Liberace's hair. Kirk finds his way back to the Enterprise. They finally reach to Earth. Nero has dropped his drillbit into the Bay Area, right next door to Starfleet HQ and everybody just stands there. Just like Vulcan, Earth apparently has no planetary defenses of any kind, but luckily the Enterprise launches a shuttle that cuts off that big drillbit, which drops in the Bay Area with a big splash.
---------
(1) No, I never hurled throughout the whole affair. Why do you ask?
(2) C'mon, I don't go for obvious jokes. Never. Never? Well, hardly ever.
(3) That other planet is in another star system and yet light travelled faster than light, thus allowing old Spock to see the death of his homeworld up in the sky.
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
Basically, I like the actors who play Kirk, Spock and McCoy, quite a bit in fact. Unfortunately, the story was rather deficient. Then again, who needs a solid plot these days when you can use CGI to throw a lot of stuff at the audience?
So, what are my problems? Among them is not their depiction of Vulcans. Yes, it is inconsistent with what was originally established, but that got messed up by TV series Enterprise, which is best described as having boldly gone where everyone had gone before.
Among the problems is the handling of female characters. Yes, there are the skirts. But I also wonder what the heck that bra is that they gave Winona Rider (as Spock's mother) because it sure made her bustline look 'funny'. Beyond the choice of female attire, the few women who actually said anything were there as objects for male lust. OK, there was a woman on the ship's bridge, but she was older and studly Kirk, while he may show interest in robots as long as they look like women, doesn't go for more mature ladies.
There were also plenty of plot holes, so many of them that they led to my rather crude comment yesterday. I'll only mention the most glaring ones.
Big bad Romulan Nero wants to destroy the Federation because, when a supernova went kablooee in the future, Romulus got fried and the Federation didn't step in to help. Mind you, that supernova was not near Romulus, but we're told that it unexpectedly did destroy it. How such a thing can happen unexpectedly, we are not told. When I was going to college, I used to carpool with a buddy whose car, if I remember correctly, was a Nova. Maybe that's what happened here. Maybe Trelayne was driving the Supernova. You know how crazy today's kids are and you get off my lawn right this minute, young man!
So Nero and his Nosferatu-lookalike buddies get hurled(1) back in time along with their mining ship. The latter must have mined in tough neighborhoods because it was equipped to beat the crap out of a Starfleet ship.
Anyway. Nero is not happy so he brings his mining ship in orbit above Vulcan, drops down a kilometers-long plasma-torch-drillbit thingie and starts boring(2) into the planet, with the intention of dropping a black hole to its core. Except that the black hole is red, and, no matter what its color, he didn't need to dig a hole. All he had to do was to drop the darn thing and it'd have plowed its way to the core on its own, but did management ask my opinion? Nooooooo. While all this is going, the Vulcans do nothing to stop this ruination of their neighborhood and they apparently have no planetary defenses of any kind because they send a distress call to Iowa - I mean, Earth. So off to Vulcan go each and every Starfleet ship. Five minutes later, after the Enterprise gets there, it finds that Nero Biggusdickus has wrecked all of Starfleet. Quite unfortunate. The Enterprise races back to Earth in a trip that, for some reason, takes longer than the original ride to Vulcan. Young captain Spock, annoyed with young Kirk, dumps him unarmed on an ice planet where, what a coincidence, Nero had dropped the older Spock of the future to see Vulcan get crushed(3). Oh, and what a coincidence, but so is young Montgomery Scott, who is stuck in a Federation outpost on that very same world. Coincidences abound and we know that they are not the sign of poor storytelling even when they're piled on thicker than Liberace's hair. Kirk finds his way back to the Enterprise. They finally reach to Earth. Nero has dropped his drillbit into the Bay Area, right next door to Starfleet HQ and everybody just stands there. Just like Vulcan, Earth apparently has no planetary defenses of any kind, but luckily the Enterprise launches a shuttle that cuts off that big drillbit, which drops in the Bay Area with a big splash.
---------
(1) No, I never hurled throughout the whole affair. Why do you ask?
(2) C'mon, I don't go for obvious jokes. Never. Never? Well, hardly ever.
(3) That other planet is in another star system and yet light travelled faster than light, thus allowing old Spock to see the death of his homeworld up in the sky.
