Redemption Road

[sergebroom]

We got a notice from our credit-card company to the effect that we had accumulated enough points to redeem some. Their web site's procedures to do this looked quite awkward so I decided to call. Of course, I got robo voicemail, which asked me to enter-or-say the credit card's number, then the last 4 digits of my SSN. Here is how it went after that.

VM: "If you know what you want, please say 'I know what I want'."
ME: "I know what I want."
VM: "What is your selection?"
ME: "Gift card."
VM: "I did not understand that. If you wish to start again, please say 'repeat'."
ME: "Repeat."
VM: "If you know what you want, please say 'I know what I want."
ME: "I know what I want."
VM: "What is your selection?"
ME: "(CREDIT CARD NAME) gift card."
VM: "I did not understand that. If you wish t..."
ME: "Give me a fucking person to talk to."
VM: "One moment, please, while I transfer you to someone who can help."

Comments

[etumukutenyak.livejournal.com]

LOL..Kaiser tried to use that kind of voice activated program for robocall reminders. I got one and eventually had to just hang up on it, because it didn't recognize what I was saying.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

After my first run thru this, I realized they had (purposefully?) not set up an obvious option to get a live person. That's when I decided to take a less diplomatic approach. Heck, it worked.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

I always get calls from real Kaiser people (plus an email a few days ahead) but they call me while I'm still asleep!

[etumukutenyak.livejournal.com]

Kaiser gave up on those calls pretty quickly, so I suspect the system failed for a lot of people. I do most of my stuff through their email now.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

In the event that you ever need to call FedEx about something and talk to a real person, the keyword is "AGENT".

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

I've had that option offered in other voicemail systems. You'd think that, since they had bothered to make the system capable of handling my harsh-language response, they could have done that for the word 'agent'. At least, the sevice from the company was fine, once I got thru to a real person.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

I have a credit card that is changing its reward system so I've got a note for next week to call them (soon before the change) to deal with them. If it turns out that I can't get a person soon, I'll be very unhappy.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

I'd be quite irate too, and what I'd say to the live person would make my verbal assault against that voicemail system look mild in comparison.

[rolanni.livejournal.com]

One hesitates, but is compelled to ask if you were indeed transferred to a fucking person and how that circumstance influenced your subsequent discussion.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

It wasn't that kind of place I was calling. (I should have known that some gutter-minds would make such a comment.)