not because of the food

[sergebroom]

Today's Christmas lunch/potluck at the office left me feeling bizarre. Not because of the food, which was quite yummy. The other participants are people who work on the same floor but not with me. (I'm in New Mexico while my co-workers are in San Francisco.) Still we're all very friendly. Anyway, one thing in the conversation led to another and, before you knew it, they were making cracks about Christmas and how atheists deal or don't deal with it, not knowing that one of them was in their midst. If I had opened my mouth, they'd have felt uncomfortable after my (polite) comments would have made them realize they didn't know what they were talking about.

Comments

[tania-c.livejournal.com]

One of "us", Serge.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

You're right.

nyway, it's not like they're friends from whom I'm hiding a deep dark secret. Still, it was a weird feeling, having people make fun of something that you are but not having them know that's what they're doing. I wasn't afraid or ashamed of what I am, but I didn't want to ruin everybody's good time nor launch in a long explanation of what an atheist is. Or isn't.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

What Tania said.

A lot of Xtians (especially in the South, where I live) have an extraordinarily narrow worldview. They automatically assume that anyone who isn't one of them has no moral compass, sense or decency. But they also (mostly) don't want to hurt people.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

They didn't say anything along those lines, thanks goodness, otherwise I wouldn't have kept my mouth shut. Mostly their comments were along the lines of atheists who get all het up if someone wishes them Merry Christmas. I don't know any such atheist myself, but, heck, what do I know?

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

That's because it's a myth, I think. One that tends to serve their purpose.

I left a board I helped create and administer recently, because, after lots of unrelated drama, and losing about half the posters, what's left are a lot of women (it's a mom board) who are just ignorant of the world, and politics, and one of them posted an ignorant email forward about a young Christian college student showing up an arrogant atheist college professor, and it was just the last straw. I don't need to keep exposing myself to that kind of ignorance (and they know what I am; there had been a lot of pretty good and civil debates there, before most of the thoughful people left.)

:(

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

The thing to remember is that there are plenty of good people, some who believe, some who don't, and who respect each other and even are sometimes married to each other.

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

I definitely know this. I'm just still grumpy about it, and haven't processed it all. I haven't mentioned it on my own LJ, since some of the moms from the board read it, and I don't want to deal. :)

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Yeah... That's probably not the best mood to be under if you're going to write about it.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

By the way, judging from the films you posted on your blog, your daughter looks like she's going to be a fine adult.

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think so too. :)

[tania-c.livejournal.com]

I think you know more than you think.

People who make a big deal out of that sort of thing are usually looking for trouble.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Yeah... My cubicle neighbors seem to have this idea that atheists are some kind of monolithic group, with a specific ste of behaviors that, if not followed, will have you cast out of the Group. Oh well. This is New Mexico, not exactly the most cosmopolitan part of America.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

I wonder how some of them might feel if wished a Happy Hannukah, or Kwanzaa?

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should have mentionned that, when I lived in Toronto, one of my friends couldn't wait to set up a Christmas Tree in her house even though she's Jewish.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

Did she have kids?

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

No, but, knowing her, she'd probably have set up a Tree anyway. Not only did she marry a Gentile, but she was also a science-fiction fan.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. Having a tree and decorating it was something my first wife and I did when we had kids.

[(Anonymous)]

Even though I'm an atheist myself, it never occurred to me until now that atheism has its own constantly renewed closet every time one enters a new social group, just like gayism. So neener neener, I have more closets following me around than you do. I win!

(This is ethan from ML, by the way--I don't see any way for me to put a name on here...)

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Yeah... The whole situation was weird, It also had me wondering if others in that group felt the same way I did, but, instead of saying nothing, they thought it better to pretend they agreed with the others. Me, I've never been good at pretending, probably because the Truth matters so damned much to me. Anyway, thanks for your post, ethan. I really appreciated it, especially today.